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an ineffable game of his own devising - Threshold
...she walked in through the out door.
dalaruan
dalaruan
an ineffable game of his own devising

You haven't kissed anyone for a while now. To you, everything tastes like blood.
Warsan Shire, Souvenir

Is it a game for you? If not, if it touches you deeply, how can you stand this?
People from families like yours or mine, we cannot stand to be touched, to open up not to upset, to see a reaction, any reaction - but to truly share feelings, to let someone really get close.
We cannot stand to be vulnerable - with it arises an old and utter helplessness, the feeling of being exposed to ultimate destruction. You tumble into the abyss of pain and loss, drowning, suffocating.
Never ever show this, be cool, calm and collected.
And charming. Like hell.




https://dalaruan.livejournal.com/40570.html

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