Born in war, family war, you are always in danger mode, deeply mistrusting harmony. Terrible fights could break out of nothing, in an instant. In this case you know how to behave, a trained warrior from early childhood. Painfull as it might be, it's so familiar it almost feels cozy. You hate war, you long for peace, no doubt. But you can't stand peace, ever deceptive as far as you experienced it. To feel poised again, you settle a fight. Although you suffer, at least it is home. As you know it.
Tags: loss, love that killing field, me, war
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