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betrayal - dedicated to M. - Threshold — LiveJournal
...she walked in through the out door.
betrayal - dedicated to M.

Wrong life cannot be lived rightly.
                       Theodor Adorno, Minima Moralia.

To betray yourself. And others. It's a kind of denial. This then the kernel of the brute. The liar is the destroyer.

Parts of my life I fooled myself out of my life, wasting my time, in standby position, years full of self-destructive numbness.


Fifteen years ago I met a man at university. He was withdrawn, sometimes stiff and awkward. I was always attracted by this type and played my favoured role, la belle dame sans merci. But this time I couldn't forget my victim. Appalled by this I turned to other men. And returned to him. Ever and ever again. Then I broke away for good, started a new, conventional life, a philistine Jane Doe.
And no birds sang.


Again I missed him and didn't know why.

When the lesson in wrong life ended just a year ago, I returned to my old life. And to him.
He was still there, still alone, his door still open.

What kind of tale is this?

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7 comments or Leave a comment
faust_iii From: faust_iii Date: August 22nd, 2008 01:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

standby position

"his door still open"

one of the most impressing miracles of the human soul:
that some of them leave their door open ...
even if there seems definitely to be nothing to wait for
even if waiting must surely be absurd

"nothing that is so is so" [Shakespeare: What you will]

and sometimes,
suddenly their comes the "right time", when 100 years are gone ...

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool."
[Richard P. Feynman, one of the most significant physicists of XX.]

dalaruan From: dalaruan Date: August 22nd, 2008 02:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: worth the wait

That's true. So let's hope for the knight that the prize is worth the wait.
faust_iii From: faust_iii Date: August 22nd, 2008 03:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: worth the wait

if the prize needs an expertise, let me know ... ;-)

From: (Anonymous) Date: August 23rd, 2008 12:21 pm (UTC) (Link)

"no birds sang"

A story that seems familiar...
dalaruan From: dalaruan Date: August 26th, 2008 01:31 pm (UTC) (Link)

name of the game

Nike, as a storyteller, do you know which kind of tale it is? A fairy tale? A dream within a dream? ...
From: (Anonymous) Date: August 27th, 2008 06:07 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: name of the game

Isn't it all a dream within a dream?
I left a poem for you.
dalaruan From: dalaruan Date: August 17th, 2010 08:45 am (UTC) (Link)

replica of life by Nike

7 comments or Leave a comment